Sunday, May 30, 2010

Happy Sunday!

I actually got out of bed and am not walking like Quasimoto..... there is some hope. I feel pretty good, but have that deep ache in my back. At least it's an ache this time.

I have found that I don't like to eat when I'm sick or in pain - or I only want to eat bad stuff. It's not really something I am proud of.....I need the nutrition and the calories to heal AND to lose weight. It's all good.....I'll bounce back.

Long weekends are so nice..... I only have a 3 day week next week - I'm off on Friday to go to the NASCAR race in Scranton - and I'm going to see some of my ladies in the OT department at my old job..... I can't wait to see them! =) It's going to be such fun - even if I am still walking like Quasi some of the time.

Shout out to my beautiful seester, Corinne - she has gotten below her pre-pregnancy weight and has stayed there! I'm so proud! =)

Love you guys! Thanks for reading!
Laur =)

Friday, May 28, 2010

I hate my freakin' back!

So, I had my PT evaluation yesterday....and this morning I did get out of bed a little easier.....but I started having spasms to beat the band this morning. I literally went into work with tears in my eyes. My PT fit me in - I arranged coverage for my patients, and I came home. The spasms are still coming and going - any transitions from sitting to standing are agony.... Ice is still my BFF..... and my trip home for the weekend to Scranton has been cancelled. I need a quiet weekend....and I'm thrilled it's a long weekend....I just hope to GOD that my back feels better (even a little) by next weekend. My sister won tickets and pit passes for the Pocono 500 NASCAR race. I have been so psyched to go..... I just want to be able to tolerate sitting/standing/riding in the car. Ohyes....I'll be there.

I borrowed the TENS unit from work for the has helped during my treatments at the clinic. I'm really hoping it'll help me get back in the swing of things. The doctor ordered me some pain PCP....I was worried, though...b/c it's a NSAID....but when I called my surgeon he said go for it. So I'll be wearing that to bed tonight..... hoping it will help me to sleep and ease the transition into waking hours tomorrow. I will let you know.

Talk soon!

Thanks for reading!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Two BIG clicks....

Hey, all!!

So, I told you all how I messed up my back doing my first Zumba class? Well, as it turns out - that pop I heard when I changed my direction was my sacro-iliac joint popping out of place! The SI, aside from being often referred to in 1960's rock songs, is a triangle shaped bone attached to the bottom of your spine - sitting in the hollow in the back of your pelvis. It is attached to your spine by ligaments, tight ones, but only by ligaments.

To give you an idea as to why I think it happened - and my doc seems to think I'm right on with it - you need to understand a thing or two about us big girls.

I have always been rediculously flexible. I used to think it was just a freaky phenomenon, but I now know it's because my joints NEEDED to be flexible in order for me to function at my highest weight. In order for my joints to accommodate the extra tissue surrounding them - the ligaments were looser. Hamstrings stretchy, mostly because in order to stoop to the floor - I HAD to bend at the waist.....I couldn't squat...are you kidding?! With the size of my legs....I would have never reached my target on the floor. Now, with the extra weight coming off - my joints are STILL loose, but they don't have the protective coating of fat helping hold them together. Things that were loose feel looser....and as much as I love BEING flexible....I believe if I don't firm things up - I could be in for more issues like my SI. And actually, as I think about it - I did knock my SI out back when I lost that 70 lbs in the early 2000's.

So....I'm off for a PT evaluation tomorrow afternoon to hopefully set my SI right and get me on an exercise regime to keep it in place and stabilize my back and SI. Maybe I'll someday get back to Zumba....I don't blame Zumba....Zumba was FUN. I blame my lacksidasical'll get better! I'm sure of it.

Now, back to the title of my post - they have nothing to do with my SI clicking in and's related to the standard doctor's scale. When they weighed me today......the bottom weight was a full TWO big clicks down from where I was this time 6 months ago..... TWO OF THEM. It's such an amazing feeling.....

Thanks for reading!!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

91.5 lbs lost - less than 80 to go!!

I so can't believe I've lost over 90 lbs since the start of my journey! 68.5 since January 25th! I'm so incredibly happy......and I'm a shadow of my former self....seriously. And it's an amazing place to be.

My hubby and I are talking about vacation - and I said I would love to do one of the Segway tours on a cruise..... which I could never have done this time last year! I want to go horseback riding.....parasailing......I want to climb the rock wall on a cruise ship. Oh, and I help me, I will. I don't know where we'll go for vaca.....but I would love a big adventure....I feel like I should reward myself for my achievements....but it's been SO long since I've been able to do things adventurous..... so I keep looking for big vacas..... we really can't afford a big adventure with the house closing pending, but it's nice to dream.

IDK - we'll see what comes of it...I just want to get away with my love and enjoy down time. =) I subscribe to Travelzoo's top I look for big deals from time to time and make my hubbins giggle with my absurd notions.....but it's fun. I just like to torture him.

Thanks for reading, as always......

I'm going to ice my back and feed the kitties.....

Laur =)

Friday, May 21, 2010


For my first exercise walk a 5K as the opening of the Scranton Relay for Life. I'm going to use this as my starting time and plan to grow on this goal and ultimately jog/walk my next and would LOVE to jog a whole one - but that's a LONG way off.....

As I mentioned before, my family is walking the Relay in memory of my grandmother, Helen Phillips, who passed away in February. She had metastatic breast cancer and died just shy of her 92nd birthday. I'm walking for her, my late grandfather (Gerald Esken), my Uncle Billy McGlone, Shannon McDonough (gone WAY too soon..miss you), my little cousins (Ethan and Jonathan Moore) who both are leukemia survivors, my parents (Donna and Dave Esken) who are both cancer survivors (uterine and prostate...I'm sure you can figure out which is which...*grin*). Not to mention the numerous others.....there are far too many to mention.

I don't want anyone to feel pressured - but if you would like to make a small donation to the American Cancer Society towards our team goal of $1000, I would truly appreciate it. If you would like - there is the opportunity to purchase a Luminaria to be displayed during the ceremony at dusk at the stadium.... they are $10 and can be purchased in honor of a survivor or in memory of someone lost. They can be purchased on my personal webpage as well. Please visit my personal webpage to check it out!

I appreciate your reading my's a wonderful thing to have an outlet to vent and share.....I'm thankful for you all. *hugs*

Laurie =)

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Relay for Life!

Well, I'm getting geared up for the Relay for Life in Scranton - happening June 12 - 13th from 9AM - 9PM. My former place of employment has graciously decided to dedicate the Allied team this year to my Nanni, who passed away a short 12 weeks ago. It was an amazing gesture, and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to honor her memory and her battle with breast cancer.

And so - my first exercise related goal. I told my sisters that I wanted to, as the opening to the relay, walk a 5K. I will have to work towards being able to do 3.2 miles without a rest.....I think I could do it now....but I want to be able to do it in a decent time and with minimal struggle....let the training begin! I've been doing some time on the elliptical - which I hate, but it does the trick. Need to spend some serious time on the treadmill and do some walking around Glasgow Park.....that's a 5K track. I have 3 weeks. It's not much time, but with dedication and sheer will - I'll git-r-done.

At some point, I'll be putting the donation website on my blog..... please do not feel like you HAVE to donate - but if you have been touched in any way by cancer, it's a wonderful opportunity to work towards a cure. I would appreciate any help... *hugs*

Thanks for reading! Talk soon!
Laur =)

Friday, May 14, 2010

Long time no Blog!

It's been a bit crazy lately - sorry for the laxity in my entries..... but here I is!

In looking at my schedule for the next several weekends.....I realize that I will rarely be spending time with my spouse....but it's cool..... it gives him time to play WoW and I'll be hanging with fam.

This weekend I have a party tomorrow and a presentation on Sunday for work..... next weekend is free - hooray for hubby! The next 4 - 8 are a bit dicey. Jewelry party and long weekend for Memorial day.... Race weekend @ Pocono, Relay for Life, house closing, Grandma's party, wedding, making funnel cakes at St. Joseph's picnic.... craziness! Good thing my spouse loves me!

This crazy schedule creates serious challenges for my eating, but I can handle it! Lots of love you guys! Talk to you soon! <3

Friday, May 7, 2010

Great day! And Strange Discoveries....

So.....after several mornings of getting pissed off and trying to kick my scale to the curb... I did some experimenting.... Yes, I am having a love hate relationship with my scale. My husband graciously hid it from me in an effort to save my sanity - but in the process of going into the linen closet to get a new toothbrush, I found it. And the relationship continued. Anyhoo...

I have found that, against all concepts I have been taught, I weigh less in the EVENING than I do first thing in the morning. Now, for those of you who were taught for the absolute minimal number you have to weigh first thing in the morning, naked, after peeing, before any form of consumption whatsoever. Apparently, that is not true for all. This flies in the face of all I've ever known! I feel like I've been cheated! But I can't beat myself up for what I didn't know....I weighed yesterday AM, was 278, weighed last night....I was 274. So, I'm going with the 274. This is my new low! And now - for the ama-za-zing events of this morning.....

1. I am officially more than 1/2 way to my first goal, which is 190#. Where I go from there, we shall see! =)
2. I officially not only fit into my size 20 jeans - I wore them to work today and was able to function....incredible.

I'm so psyched..... the non-scale victories are so incredible....sometimes better than the scale ones! It makes the weight loss real - and the changes in my life a reality.....and I'm so thankful for them.

And endure Mother's Day. And although I cannot celebrate the joy of BEING a mom, I am so thankful for my Mom.... I would not be the strong, independent woman I am today without her guidance and love. She is truly my best friend. I LOVE YOU, MOMMY!

For all you Moms out there - Happy Mother's Day...for those of you who aren't moms yet, beit by choice or by fate, hug and love your Moms...... They're the cornerstone!

Love you all - thanks for reading!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

A Down Day.....

I went to my friend's daughter's 3rd birthday party yesterday..... it was so much fun while we were there. As we ventured home, of course the baby bug hits me again.

Now, I knew going into this surgery that we couldn't even think about trying to have our own baby for 12 - 18 months after surgery, and I am overall okay with that. But we had talked about starting more seriously pursuing adoption after we're in the new house, but there is so much to consider.....

I went back to the sad place I was in before surgery - and even though it didn't last for very long - it was not the happy place I've been in for 3 months. I felt life was going to pass us by and we'd always have to live vicariously through my friends and family. And I didn't like it one bit. I know I will be an older mom, but a mom nonetheless. We have time....not as much as I would like.....but we have time nonetheless. Whether we have a biological or adopted child will not matter.....we will have a child. I truly believe this with all my being. But, on the off chance that it isn't in the cards? We'll deal with that when the time comes - but I truly don't think we'll have to worry about that. But if we do have to deal - we'll face it head on and be stronger for it in the end.

So, in seeing that I was in a sad mood today - my wonderful husband made today about me. We went and saw the house, we went to the movies (saw the Losers - hilarious!), went shopping, and came home and watched TV cuddled on the couch. This is what life is about, everyone. Living each and every day to the fullest and basking in the happy moments. Sure, you have to deal with the sad and the hard times - but love is what makes those times bearable and the good stuff possible. And THAT is what I'm going to concentrate on.

And now, to focus and my next mini goal - when I hit 100# lost, I'm getting a massage! I have about 18# to go. And it'll go quickly. *hugs*

Thanks for reading my's was an interesting one.
Laur =)