tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10880287875136354372024-03-13T21:22:20.102-07:00The Comprehensive WLS Journey of Laurie - and other random blatherings.....Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.comBlogger62125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-51707676680518483192012-02-12T19:44:00.001-08:002012-02-12T20:00:07.853-08:00Musings on my two year SurgiversaryYep, it's been ages. This has been a hell of a year. A year of triumph, sadness and loss, and hope - in grossly disproportionate amounts.<div>My baby brother and oldest brother both got married - yay!</div><div>My mom had knee surgery that went horribly awry - a surgery that was supposed to leave her able to walk better and dance at Bryan's wedding left her wheelchair bound.... talk about buyer's remorse? I have a ton of that for her.</div><div>My father passed away unexpectedly in May - my first love, the man against which I measured all others - taken far too soon from this world. I miss him every day.</div><div>My family has moved out of the family home and into an apartment - a great move for them, for sure.</div><div>My older brother is expecting his first baby in August.</div><div>Bryan and Krista bought a house.</div><div>David, my sweet nephew, turned 2!</div><div>Russ and Rinny moved into a new apartment</div><div>Our quest to become parents continues to be un-fruitful.</div><div>My moods swing on a dime, thanks to fertility drugs and emotional crap.... it's not a fun place to be sometimes.</div><div>I continue to be married to the most amazing man on earth....</div><div><div><br /></div><div>But here I am....in the mood to muse and share. I've been blog silent for a long while, living my life and dealing with all of the above.<div><br /></div><div>Let's talk positives/negatives of the weight loss journey thus far:</div><div>- I achieved onederland! Though I have to say, haven't been there as of late...my latest tousle with fertility meds left me at 204...ugh.</div><div>- I've kept off the bulk of my weight (all but 8 lbs) for over a year.</div><div>- I have more energy than ever before</div><div>- overall, physically, I feel awesome!</div><div><br /></div><div>Negatives?:</div><div>- This supposed "boost to fertility?" - false. Almost 6 months back to the reproductive endocrinologist, numerous tests and treatments later? Nothing.</div><div>- I've gone back to drinking soda - pandora's box has been opened....I'm not proud, but I had missed my Coke Zero - I'm limiting it and plan to get rid of it again, but that's a hard habit to break.</div><div>- My capacity has increased a bit - I can now eat an entire sandwich in one sitting (depending on the material it's made of), I still have to eat slow, but I can do it.</div><div>- There are days I just don't follow the diet - and I know I should. I plan to get back on track.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's been a struggle over the past couple of months, but I'm continuing to fight the fight...both of them now....the diet struggle and the fertility struggle. Hopefully I will be able to win at least one of them. I have to keep the faith.</div><div><br /></div><div>And on the eve of my 39th birthday, I'm both proud and saddened by my status. I have a husband who loves me beyond everything, a family who adores me and keeps me sane, and I'm healthier than I've ever been. But, I still have days where I think, "this is not where I thought I'd be at 39..." I'm glad for where I've landed, but wish I had some other passengers, if you know what I mean. Life is definitely a journey..... one that has had more downs than ups as of late....but I'm still standing.....</div><div><br /></div><div>As my mom so wisely told me on several occasions this past year, "God gives you the strength you need, not a minute too soon, not a minute too late.." I bank on this daily.</div><div><br /></div><div>Thanks for reading!</div><div><3</div></div></div>Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-46759575907838393752011-01-30T03:55:00.000-08:002011-01-30T04:01:18.676-08:00Accountability - day 2 - not bad!So, I stepped on the scale this morning and it read 198.5. What I'm doing is having the desired effect. Positive reinforcement achieved! I am pushing on!<br /><br />Yesterday I did well, considering it was a weekend....<br /><br />Breakfast: Fake eggs with cheese, ham and ketchup<br /> Coffee with SF coffeemate (not drunk at the same time - drank coffee first)<br />Snack: Apple and a cheese stick<br />Lunch: California Pizza Kitchen - thin crust BBQ chicken pizza with a touch of ranch (2 slices - tiny)<br />Snacks: Mixed nuts (1 oz)<br /> Cheerios with lactaid milk (I wanted something crunchy!)<br /> atkins bar before bed<br />Dinner: 2 oz chicken breast<br /> broccoli<br /> 1/4 c fake potatoes (idohoan ones)<br /><br />Totals: 1321 calories, 77 g protein. NO SUPPLEMENTS! that was a cool thing.<br /><br />Off to work this morning...already noshing on my fake egg omlet for my AM protein. Talk to you soon!<br /><br />Thanks for reading!<br /><3<br />Laurie =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-49902075975394713712011-01-29T07:27:00.000-08:002011-01-29T07:41:33.841-08:00Back on Track - The plan and day one summarySo, I decided since I stepped on the scale and it said 201 yesterday (I hate that 2!), I needed to assess my situation and make changes. I've been gradually going down the slippery slope...and the smaller I get, the fewer calories I can consume and still lose. Here are the things I found I was doing all wrong in the last couple weeks....<br /><br />1. Too many sweets at work and too weak - the more I ate, the more I wanted<br />2. my Starbucks drink - Venti soy latte is 260 calories! And I was drinking one a day - at least!<br />3. Carbs carbs carbs - bread, crackers and sugars, oh my! - Not cool.<br />4. Loving others with food led to my loving myself more with food - a cycle I've worked hard to break.....it's happened again!<br />5. No gym - I've been using the excuse that I was getting my ribs better - but my ribs are better now...so I have NO excuse.<br /><br />So....what to do? Refocus, change my habits, and get back where I should be! Here's the plan:<br /><br />1. Track daily on Spark People....I was only doing it sporadically - but hadn't in a long time. That's how I found my errors when I entered a days' "work".<br />2. Blog daily with my accountability - especially when I'm in Scranton for the next couple weeks...I love my fam, but they are major food triggers for me! <br />3. Get back to exercise - I have some yoga shows on my DVR, I'm going to try them. Starting back to Zumba - with my sister next two weeks and then back when I get here...there's a Zumba class in my building M, T, W at 6:20 - it's late, but I can do it!<br />4. NO MORE SWEETS OR DOUGHY CARBS - I even wrote that down and took a pic of it to make my home screen on my phone. So far, it's a good reminder!<br />5. Replace my loving people with sweets (doughnuts, cakes, cookies), I'm getting rid of the sweets on the snack table at work and replacing it with fruits and veggies. My staff will thank me for it!<br /><br />That's my plan! <br /><br />Now for my accountability for yesterday.<br /><br />Breakfast: Protein Oatmeal (100 cal, 15g protein)<br />AM Beverage: Chocolate protein shake (160 cal, 30g protein)<br />AM snack: Ham and cheese rollup (95 cal, 12g protein)<br />late AM drink: Protein capuccino (90 cal, 15g protein)<br />Lunch: Starkist tuna lunch thingy (210 calories, 20g protein)<br /> Honeydew (32 cal, 0 protein)<br />PM Snack: Carrots and ranch dressing (105 calories, 0 protein)<br />Dinner: Chicken Ceasar salad (wawa) (240 calories, 22g protein)<br /> Grapes (60 calories, 0 protein)<br /> Raspberry vinaigrette (45 calories, 0 protein)<br /><br />Totals: 1235 calories, 118 carbs, 36 g fat, 109 g. protein (ish)<br /><br />Not too bad for a first day. We shall see what day 2 brings....weekends are tough sometimes.<br /><br />Thanks for reading!<br /><3<br />Laurie =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-9461436045925748422011-01-26T04:18:00.000-08:002011-01-26T04:25:13.992-08:00365 days later.....And here I am. One year surgiversary. Can't believe it - I said it was going to be my new birthday and man was I right. My life renewed the day I entered that OR. I can't wrap my head around the fact that it's been a year....and when I think about last year at this time, I'm amazed at what I have accomplished.<br /><br />Regardless of how I may complain about my little missteps.... I'm only human and we all encounter them. I have to give myself credit where credit is due and pat myself on the back for the goals I have set and accomplished. So, what will 2011 have for me? Here's what I hope...<br /><br />- My weight has stabilized pretty well, but I would love to get down to 190. It's only 9#, and I think with refocus and discipline, I can easily accomplish it. <br />- I hope to be on my way to motherhood by the end of the year<br />- I want to walk the Relay for Life and outpace my last year's numbers<br />- I want to look HOT at my brother's wedding.....dress shopping, here I come!<br />- I want to get back on track with nutrition and cut out sweets altogether again<br />- I will go to support group EVERY month - without fail!<br />- I will get into some form of leisure - bowling league, craft thing, cake decorating, something.....I feel myself getting into an after work rut<br />- I will get to the gym, at least 3 days a week, to help get this last 9# off and help keep it off!<br /><br />That's what I hope for this year. I have to maintain this healthy lifestyle....it's why I did what I did, right?<br /><br />Thank you for all your support over the past year! I couldn't have done it without my family and friends! Love you all!<br /><br />Thanks for reading!<br /><3<br />Laur =)<br /><br />366 days strong - 164 lbs lighter - 100% healthier and stronger.Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-7400212671082548412011-01-23T17:39:00.000-08:002011-01-23T17:42:10.654-08:00Happy Sunday!Made a list of things I can cook for the week. Banishing fast food from our repertoire once again..... I plan to cook daily, beit crock pot or stove or oven. Things were getting out of control for a while - it's far too easy to fall back into old habits. <br /><br />When I have worked a 12 hour day, it is far too easy to stop for chicken at WalMart or grab something from the fast food joints. Granted, there are far more healthy choices there now, but they are still not the same as cooking. And the temptation to go bad is there.....and lately, I am weak.<br /><br />I'm off to finish dinner......laters!<br />Thanks for reading!<br /><3<br />Laurie =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-18500297227867843842011-01-22T08:58:00.001-08:002011-01-22T09:00:28.788-08:00Gaining?So, yesterday I wake to a 2 lb. weight gain. Now, I understand that during AF, the weight can fluctuate. I so get that. But when you just break the 200 mark and the scale reads 200 again? Somehow that 2 lbs seems bigger than it actually is. <br /><br />I know I'm overanalyzing.....but the fear is always there that regain can happen. I am guessing the fear will keep me on the straight and narrow. Or, I certainly hope so. <br /><br />Off to have some breakfast (well, lunch, really) and go to the movies with my love. Green Hornet, here we come!<br /><br />Have a good day!<br />Thanks for reading.....<br /><3<br />Laur =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-21650702576378532062011-01-21T04:09:00.000-08:002011-01-21T04:14:26.860-08:00Strange realizations...I was reading through my old blogs from the past year and something struck me. <br /><br />Things I thought were impossible were, in fact, possible. For example:<br /><br />1. I thought it would be impossible to wear a size large by this Christmas - I was.<br />2. my waist measurement pre surgery is now my HIP measurement!<br />3. I have made it below 200# for the first time in my adult life...and I'm staying here!<br />4. I am learning to eat in moderation and enjoy food differently - my relationship with food is so different now. I love food, but don't live for it.<br />5. All my lab values are not only good, but I'm the picture of health!<br /><br />It's incredible, really. It's been a long year and a short year all at once....and I'm so thankful for this journey, even when it takes me to strange places I've never been and challenges me in ways I never thought I could handle. I'm also so thankful for all the support of my family and friends on this journey as well. I could not have done it without all of you. Thank you.<br /><br />Thanks for reading...<br /><br />Lots of love...<br /><br />Laur =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-57936441764105911502011-01-20T15:17:00.000-08:002011-01-20T15:19:28.834-08:00Long time no post....updates, holidays, and the future!Hi, all!I'm baaaack!It's been a while and with the holidays and all, it's been quite a challenging couple of months. I will start with my updates measurement wise and weight wise!<br /><br />Weight: 197 (yes, ONE!)<br />LBS lost: 164!!<br />Clothing: pants - consistently a 14, shirts - depends on the shirt - some med, some lg<br />Waist: 34"<br />Hips: 46" (I think...)<br />BMI: 30.5 (I am almost merely overweight....insanity)<br /><br />This year we hosted Thanksgiving again. In the new house....with 16 people for dinner. It was wonderful! I ate off a saucer and had a couple bites of all the entrees. I even had a bite of pumpkin cheesecake - which I made more WLS friendly by subbing sugar for splenda and using fat free cream cheese...didn't even know the diff! I was so happy about it. <br /><br />Christmas was so much fun! We didn't do anything of consequence and we were just together. It was lovely. It was the first year we had the big tree, and the first year in a long time we had the cats out and had to think about what they were going to do with the big tree. It's a 9' pre lit tree....it was so great having my family here Thanksgiving week to help put it up. It was the most festive Christmas we've had in a long time.<br /><br />The struggle for us to have a baby pre surgery was really trying on us - and holidays just didn't have the joy they used to. The more our family and friends had babies and grew their families, the more miserable holidays were. It was so nice to be happy, healthy, and joyous Christmas. I am truly thankful for the blessings in my life....and the new life I've been afforded as a result of this surgery.Now, I'm one year out, another year wiser and healthier....and closer than ever to having a family. The future is SO bright. I may have to wear shades. <br /><br />Talk soon - stay strong and focused, friends. <br />Thanks for reading! <br /><3, Laurie =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-86784801746385262362010-11-21T06:10:00.000-08:002010-11-21T06:20:29.474-08:00A month almost? Ramblings on vacation, self esteem, and the road ahead...They say life gets in the way - and the more weight I lose and the busier I get, the more I understand that. I find myself doing more and being more active than I ever was...and therefore, life gets in the way of things like blogging....but I do say, I miss it...and my friend, Erin, actually asked me the other night if I was ever going to come back....well, here I am. Thanks for being patient!<br /><br />It's been a wonderful couple of weeks.....Vegas was amazing...I was shocked at how different this trip was compared to my last vacation - no mandatory upgrade to business class to fit into the seat, no seatbelt extender, and I was able to walk everywhere.....it was wonderful. Thanksgiving is coming this week - I have 12 people coming! The house is almost ready - the last bit of furniture is coming today and the baking has begun (not good for my carb count, but a sweet comfort I won't give up). What a change from last year.<br /><br />To update you on my progress - I have been in a stall for the last two weeks, but I have to admit, my habits have not been the best. Stress begets bad choices for me - and work has been insanity....so things like pizza and m&m's have made their way back into my repertoire. Not good. Again, knowledge and acknowledgement are the first steps to correction.....so I have no doubt that I'll be fine in the long run....but I'm down at 205 lbs, I can wear medium or large tops from most places....and bought my first pair of size 14's for work last week. That blew my mind. I love it, though....<br /><br />I will tell you - the feeling of being big never leaves you completely....I still see myself as a big girl....and I still am, by supermodel standards, but I am in the average for american women now....or so I've heard. I had two days last week when I felt positively huge. Nothing had changed...I stepped on the scale a million times the first day of it....but I couldn't shake the feeling. Poor self esteem was back, and wasn't leaving until it was ready. I feel pretty good now....but I do find that when those feelings hit, the emotions hit hard. I just had to push through and make it to the next day...and I did... positive affirmations helped, too. I kept telling myself about all my accomplishments (between the crap feelings) and I think that helped. Who knows...I'm on the other side of it and know it'll be back....I just have to be ready for it.<br /><br />Funny story - I was at my family's house a few weeks ago and my sister had heard that I am down 156 lbs. She jumped on my back and said, "are you missing something?" She weighs 154, so she gave me a taste of my old self. Wow. I don't know how my knees ever handled it.<br /><br />Thanks for reading, all.....I promise it'll be less than a month next time...and there will be pics from Thanksgiving! =)<br /><br />*hug*Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-84280775250463319352010-10-24T08:39:00.000-07:002010-10-24T08:43:37.264-07:00Several NSV's in the last 24 hours! (Non Scale Victory)So, first time in many many months that we've travelled. We went coach on Delta - not only did I fit comfortably in the seats, but I needed to snug the seatbelt when I put it on! (I used to have to put it all the way to the biggest or get an extender to be safe)<br /><br />Then, this morning, I took my shower and was able to wrap myself in a hotel towel - and it went all the way around! Even the "bath sheets" wouldn't cover me before! <br /><br />I still can't wrap my head around my new size....but I'm trying....these little things help me to make it happen.<br /><br />On the other side - this travel has thrown me completely off. I was so hungry last night when we were on our way back from the strip.....and I'm not usually hungry! My internal clock is completely screwed up, but I'll get through this. Protein first! I will admit, I may indulge a time or two while I'm here, but I'm going to do my best to be good.<br /><br />Have a great week!<br />Thanks for reading!<br />Laur =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-16262887606935628382010-10-14T12:36:00.001-07:002010-10-14T12:46:21.988-07:00Feeling a bit blue today....I was shopping at Kohl's after work today and something hit me hard. I saw the slippers on the racks for the cold weather and instantly thought of my Nanni, who we lost back in February. Each year I would go on a quest to find the perfect slipper for her - not scuffs or ones that are too hard to put on, but the ones that look like moccasins but are soft and fuzzy. They were her favorite....she would NOT like the boot ones that are out now, she'd say, "those are silly." Not to mention, every year I would buy her the gawdiest Christmas pins....because she LOVED them...or at least she pretended to love them. Shopping was bittersweet today.<br /><br />In thinking of her today - I thought about how she would feel about my journey. Last time I lost a significant amount of weight, she used to giggle and say, "I can reach all the way around you!" when she hugged me. She was so proud. I wasn't so proud when I gained it all back, but she ALWAYS loved me no matter what. And she never said anything about my weight to me...though I'm sure she was worried about me. We used to talk about everything.... and she used to say to me, "nobody deserves to be a mother more than you, Laurie. That child will want for nothing and be SO spoiled." I am so sad she didn't live to see that happen..... but I look at it this way - she's probably wheeling and dealing with God right now, trying to ensure that when we get the blessing to try again, it will happen for us this time. It's awesome thinking I have THAT going for me up there..... what's meant to be will be.<br /><br />Lots of memories flooding back to me today...... and the holidays are going to be hard.... I miss her so much today. But I know she's looking down on me now, and I wish she could put her arms "all the way around" me today. I could use a Nanni hug - we kids used to fight over who would hug her first...and she was so tiny that we would kneel in front of her so we were waist or chest high on her - and she'd hug us and lay her head on our heads...or kiss our foreheads. It was silly, but so sweet. <br /><br />Love you, Nanni....<br />Thanks for reading, everyone. *hugs* (Sorry for the downer post today... it helps me so much to write it down and share...)<br /><3<br />Laurie =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-44666179521719005682010-10-08T06:31:00.000-07:002010-10-08T06:48:01.152-07:00Fearful....So, last night, I'm sitting in the living room thinking about my food for the day. I did okay...had some carbs and indulged in a little kitkat bar.....but overall, did okay - not protein wise, but calorie wise. Toast with cream cheese for breakfast, no snacks to speak of, 3 oz. pork chop and some mac and cheese for lunch, the little kit kat, and a small piece of lasagna for dinner. No evening snack, no desire for evening snack.....<br /><br />But I found myself worried that I was going to go back....back to the unhealthy person I once was......back to my old habits......now that I can tolerate anything and am eating larger quantities (not huge, but 1/2 - 3/4 cup, vs 1/4 cup earlier), I'm starting to get scared. Don't know if this is normal.....but I do KNOW I'm nervous about it.....and knowing and acknowledging is half the battle......so I'm on a good track.<br /><br />Also, having my inlaws coming has me a bit nervous - I tend to be REALLY insecure when they're here.....don't know why....just have never felt "good enough" for them. I'm sure some of you have felt that at some time. <br /><br />Thanks for listening.....off to vacuum and head to work.<br /><3<br />Laur =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-20467625347708421582010-10-01T08:31:00.000-07:002010-10-01T08:42:19.665-07:00Another list of my favorite things....and continued struggles/frustrationsHere I am, in Maryland with my family....watching little David on his first birthday. I can't believe he's a year old...and what a difference with my being able to keep up with him!<br /><br />We've played and had breakfast together....getting over the baby gates, no problem!! I'm looking so forward to our outing tonight for his birthday dinner and for a haircut. I'm so lucky to be here!<br /><br />So, as noted above, I have added a few more favorite things....and there are more by the day!<br />So, in no particular order.....<br />1. Being called "skinny bitch" by my hubby - OMG..what a compliment!<br />2. Being able to sit on the floor with David AND get up without struggling<br />3. Having people I haven't seen in a long time walk past me, wondering where I am!<br />4. Sitting in my hubby's lap and not worrying about breaking his legs<br />5. Being able to borrow clothes from my sisters<br />6. Shopping (yep, it's still there...that one isn't changing anytime soon!)<br />7. exercising! I love Zumba and other exercise classes...might to couch to 5k to challenge myself...<br />8. Taking up less room in my car....and watching Jeff have to move the seat back when he drives my car....<br />9. Finding new recipes on the internet to feed my sweet tooth, as it seems to be returning<br />10. Continuing to get on the scale and see downward movement! I'm 16# from breaking the 200 mark!!<br /><br />Stuff I still struggle with?<br />1. Sweets - like I mentioned above, my sweet tooth seems to be returning, even though I know it's head hunger, it's tough to keep in check<br />2. looking at clothing and seeing that it will fit me - in my mind I'm still a 24!<br />3. Getting in all my protein - if I drink a shake or two, I do well....but if I don't? Fail.<br />4. Getting enough calories in - if I allow my sweet tooth to win, I can get 1200....but when I'm a good girl? 600 - 800 max...not good.<br />5. Going to restaurants with friends and asking them to split something.....my family is awesome about it, but I feel weird asking friends when we're out.<br />6. sagging skin - someday I'll get brave and post some pics...but it's getting almost funny....some shrinking from exercise....but I've lost so fast, it's not keeping up!<br />7. skin issues - I've been getting more rashes under my belly - I know it's a way to get free plastics, but I am not a fan of the discomfort....itchy, icky....oy.<br /><br />K, I'm stopping at 7. Off to get the boy -he's up from his nap and there's toys to play with and lunch to make. Thanks for reading - love you all!!<br /><br />Laur =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-23064914475833173472010-09-16T16:07:00.000-07:002010-09-16T16:16:57.326-07:00Holy Carbfest, Batman - it needs to stop!Okay - I was great on vacation - even lost 4.5 lbs while I was there....but now I'm home and I can't stop. Well, I CAN, I'm just having a hard time doing it. <br /><br />Monday was a rough day at work - lots of stuff thrown at me at once, just back from vacation, preparing to interview for my full time tech...you know, the usual. Came home, ate well, then got up on Tuesday. Caramel corn was left over from vaca - took it to work....still ate it. Bad. <br /><br />Then came yesterday - wanted to be good, but hit Dunkin for a decaf coffee and what do they have? Pumpkin muffins! I decided, "what the heck - I haven't had a muffin in almost a year - one won't hurt!" Then, this morning, I look at the calorie count for the muffin - 590 calories in a DD Pumpkin spice muffin!!! Yeah -that's a big ol' nono food anymore. Holy crap. I almost peed myself. Seriously.....4 months ago, I was lucky to eat 500 calories a DAY, and yesterday, I ate it in an hour. I was disgusted with myself. <br /><br />THIS is the hard part. I've discovered slider foods....for real. Restriction has nothing on these sweet treats.....so they must be destroyed. *lol* I'm cracking myself up. I must not let myself get obsessed with calorie counts - but I have to get back to basics..... no sugar, protein first (hell, protein as a focus at all.....been on a wing and prayer this past week), veggies and drink my water.....also a struggle. When I don't eat sugar/carbs, I don't crave them.....so I just cut them out and *poof* problem solved. Granted, I don't get anywhere NEAR the 1200 calories I'm supposed to eat (except yesterday, I'm sure I got them yesterday), but that's not an excuse either. It's as Jeff said - "it's not the calories that are important...it's the sugar and protein content...." And he's right....it's definitely better to eat 500 calories in lean meats and veggies than a friggin MUFFIN. Oy.<br /><br />I feel better having gotten that out. Oh, and BTW.....spouse just called me - said, "want me to pick anything up for dinner on the way home?" I said, "what would you get - not a wise thing tonight"....Stuck to my guns....eating in and well. Nuff said.<br /><br />Thanks for listening to my blathering......I needed to get that out. <br /><3 you all!<br />Laur =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-30267628217054294592010-09-07T05:28:00.000-07:002010-09-07T05:34:38.948-07:00VacaAck! Lost my post! I hates that!<br /><br />Anyhoo - take twooo....<br /><br />I am vacationing in lovely Rehoboth Beach, DE with my fab family. The weekend went quickly, with my brother, sister in law, and nephew heading home yesterday....not to mention the sad departure of my hubby to go home b/c he has to work today! *wah* I miss him already - though my sister, Erin, decided to join me in my room, so I'm not too lonely....<br /><br />This is tough, though....staying on track on vacation. Sheesh. Meals are okay - but it's the in between that gets me bad.....every day's grocery list includes, "danish, croissants, and donuts" for munching in between meals. Let me tell you - not cool for a post WLS girl. I've been good overall - but I have had moments of weakness - and the concept of slider foods definitely has reared its ugly head this weekend.....crackers and sweets go down way too easily - and I barely feel restriction with them. Mind you, these used to be my trigger foods, so it's even worse. And, my family is a big trigger in and of themselves.....since they are not the healthiest of eaters.....i.e. my diabetic dad having some steudel pieces with his coffee in the AM....before his medicine....but I digress.....<br /><br />It's going to be harder without my hubby here...he is my entree splitter, Jiminy Cricket at times, and cheerleader. The restriction is helpful, but most the work is squarely on my shoulders. And this week is HARD. <br /><br />I'm off to chill with my seester, who just joined me on the porch.... Going to relax and take it in.....it is vacation, after all! =)<br /><br />Thanks for reading!<br />Laur =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-8247280726975292842010-09-01T17:44:00.000-07:002010-09-01T17:53:44.759-07:00Hey, all!It's been a while again - and my friend Liz's announcement of her blog prompted me to blog....<br /><br />So sorry it's taken me so long to get back on here.....life has been getting in the way. Work is insanity, we're going on vacation this weekend for a week, and Jeff and I just booked a week in Vegas, baby! I cannot wait! It's so exciting.....Jeff and I haven't been on vacation alone in about 4 years.....so it's time. Seriously.<br /><br />I've been going to Bodypump classes 2x/week and Zumba once.....I didn't make it there this week, since I've been busy getting ready for vacation - but I do have weights to do my exercises here when I don't get there....mental note....pump body tonight....after I do my progress notes.<br /><br />Latest updates on my progress -<br />Weight 226<br />BMI 35<br />pants size 16 - 18 depending on store (but Old Navy is a solid 16)<br />Shirt size - L - XL, depending on store.<br /><br />Very hard to believe I'm this far into the journey in such a short time - some days I feel like I just had surgery and some days it's old hat. <br /><br />The longer out I become, the more tempted I get regarding sweets and carbs. It's a struggle to keep on the course, but I try very hard to do my protein first and then do veggies or fruit for my second category. I allow myself one day where I can have something sweet....and I try to keep it small....and it's not very sweet - or I will get sick. And anyone who knows me knows how much I HATE getting sick (stomach sick, that is). I seriously think twice about what I'm going to eat when I want something sweet.....the consequence is not always worth the taste. <br /><br />All in all - I still get between 600 - 1000 calories in a day - more on my sweet allowance days. I still don't think I've gone over 1000 calories ever.....and I still get full fast and stay full a long time. So worth it.<br /><br />I've had a lot of people ask me about the surgery and my journey....either for their or someone in their lives' benefits....it's nice to give back. I love my sleeve....and wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. =) =) =)<br /><br />And now....off to do paperwork and start packing for vaca.....guess I should vacuum, too, huh?<br /><3 you all....<br />Thanks for reading!<br />Laur =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-28578360128590454002010-08-14T11:01:00.000-07:002010-08-14T11:12:06.507-07:00My new favorite thingsOMG, things are so different than they were this time last year. And my favorite things have changed....the little things in life, the little victories, mean more to me than anything right now. Here is my top 10.....They are not in priority order.....just as they pop into my head.<br /><br />10. Being able to beat my husband in a crunch endurance contest<br />9. Crossing my legs under the table/desk/whatever - and being comfy there.<br />8. Not having to look at a chair first and wonder if my ass will fit within its confines.<br />7. Having, as my family has put it lately, "no ass"<br />6. Borrowing clothes - and being able to shop ANYWHERE I want....<br />5. Wearing my original wedding set - all 3 rings - without worrying about not being able to get them off my fingers at the end of the day<br />4. Being able to do 3 days of exercise a week without wanting to die<br />3. Being mistaken for my sisters<br />2. Having my husband be able to hug me and get his strong arms all the way around me - I feel so safe and secure<br />1. Knowing that I'm healthier now than I've ever been - and only getting better!<br /><br />On another note - strange and hopefully good omen today.....I was at a Zumba fundraiser (yes, I'm obsessed, it's a disease) and they had raffles. I put in for a bunch of things - I never win....I considered it a donation, honestly. The one thing I win? A hand made tutu with a rainbow of rhinestones on the shirt....why, you may ask, is this an omen?<br /><br />When my Grandpa passed away, it started happening that everytime something important or difficult would be happening in our lives, we would see rainbows. We consider them to be messages from Grandpa....and I didn't even see the rainbow on the tutu when I put in for it. We can't even THINK about having a baby any time soon - but I hope this is a sign that our little girl is on the way (or little boy, but he would look a bit silly in a tutu...).<br /><br />Sorry I've been gone so long....missed you. Thanks, as always, for reading.<br /><3,<br />Laur =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-50476482259560709512010-07-30T13:07:00.000-07:002010-07-30T13:14:48.492-07:00Update - 6 months out.Well, I just got back from my 6 month check-up @ PMRI (preventative medicine and rehabilitation institute), where they have the weight management program. They weighed, measured, checked blood....and came to the conclusion that I'm doing pretty alright.<br /><br />Here be the stats - now (starting)<br />weight - 235 (361)<br />waist - 38.5" (46)<br />hips - 51" (67"!)<br />neck - 13.5" (17.5)<br />BMI - 36.7 (54!)<br /><br />I'm so thrilled with everything. The only lab that remains iffy is my cholesterol - the bad kind. Everything else is within normal - even my pre-albumin - which measures how much protein my body is absorbing from my food/vitamins. I was surprised at that one, since I have not exactly been stellar with my protein intake - but my body is doing great......<br /><br />The PA ordered some powder for under my belly (I get rashes sometimes, but I would much rather rashes to my former fat belly), and ordered me to go back on the B12 vitamin. She also said she doesn't need to see me for another 6 months. *cheer* I'm so happy! =)<br /><br />Now tomorrow is a nutty day - Zumba in the AM, lunch with Liz (one of my surgery buddies), and dinner/entertainment out with the girls from work. My friend, Christine, is in an outdoor theater presentation of "Guys and Dolls" up at Longwood Gardens...and prior to, we are going to dinner at a place called Half Moon - which has a great menu with dinner items, but strange things like ostrich, emu, buffalo, and alligator. Curious.<br /><br />Next week - I'm starting workout buddies with my friend, Ryane, who is back in my life after a long repose......I'm so thankful she's back in my life. I missed her. But that's another story - and not entirely mine to tell. <br /><br />Thanks for reading.....lots of love......<br /><3<br />Laurie =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-43618970024696429362010-07-30T09:26:00.001-07:002010-07-30T09:26:41.010-07:00on my way to my 6 month follow up @ PMRI! More info to come! =) Thx 4 reading!<br>Laur =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-29203130982315807722010-07-26T08:35:00.000-07:002010-07-26T08:41:11.495-07:00How Sweet!!!Hey, all -<br /><br />Long time no blog - I'm trying to be better about it, but life keeps getting in the way! I'm a busy woman!<br /><br />This weekend was wonderful. Went to Scranton to work the St. Joseph's Center festival, like I do every year, making funnel cakes. But first....I went back to Zumba! Made it through the entire class without dying - and even did some of the moves that threw my SI out to begin with. I was so proud of me..and had so much fun.<br /><br />Sooo, we're at St. Joe's - I'm wearing my brand new, size 18, Old Navy jeans (got them for $5! you can't get plus sized jeans for $5 EVER) - and I finally see my friend's Dad, who is 5 years post bypass and one of my biggest supporters! He and his wife waited around to see me - and were so proud when they saw me. Then the other amazing thing happened...<br /><br />Each year I run into my 5th grade teacher, Mr. Cici. My sister and I see him - go over and give him a hug, ask how he is - we start talking.....and all of a sudden he asks Jennifer, "so how IS Laurie?" I said, "I'm right here!" He thought I was my BABY sister, Erin! Now, not only is she small and stunning, she is 14 years my JUNIOR! I was so excited! It was hilarious....he was so embarrassed, but I was so flattered! I was thrilled with the mistake! His daughter, the lovely Marifran, went to high school with me and has been keeping him aprised of my progress - but to see it for himself must have been shocking. It was the highlight of my night!<br /><br />So, here I am. Current weight is 237.....size 18....can shop at regular stores now.....unbelievable. And I'm still losing. I can't wait until my 6 month check up on Friday!Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-25906131110531598842010-07-21T04:15:00.000-07:002010-07-21T04:22:14.011-07:00It's been a while.....blah blah blah blah blah.....Hey, all -<br /><br />I know I've been absent as of late..and after my Wegman's meltdown, I was kinda embarrassed. But I'm only human....and I was so depressed about my venture there....the first meltdown of its kind since surgery. One in 6 months isn't bad, right?<br /><br />Brief update - I'm now down to 241# (at last weigh), BMI is 37ish, and I'm wearing a solid size 18/XL pants and XL, sometimes L shirts. It's pretty twisted....but amazing and I love it. Feeling pretty good - but know I'm not getting enough of my protein in....my nutritionist will not be happy with my 6 month labs.....I've been a slacker in the protein dept....but I digress. I actually got my 80 grams in yesterday...so I'm on the right track. I just have to stay there.<br /><br />I'm going back to a Zumba class on Saturday with my sister.....I hope I don't throw something out again.....I'm a bit nervous, but excited all at once. My foree back into Zumba...hopefully it'll be a wonder to behold.<br /><br />I will say - the energy I have now? Rediculous. We went to NYC on Sunday - and I was outwalking everyone! Jeff actually said, "I think I liked it better when I had to slow down for YOU....SLOW DOWN!" It was pretty liberating not to have to ask everyone to slow down for me. To be able to keep up? I'm so proud. I got to see the Statue of Liberty, Central Park, Empire State, and went to dinner with my sisters - who happened to be there for the Yankees game. They came into midtown afterwards to meet us at our Italian restaurant on 46th. It was wonderful. I even drove into the city instead of taking the train....that was an experience - not sure if it's one I'll repeat....but I've driven in Manhattan once.....*check!* Off the bucket list.<br /><br />K, I'm off to get ready for work. Thanks for reading! It's been too long - and I promise not to be gone so long next time.<br /><br />*hugs*<br />Laurie =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-40892716644493886942010-07-11T09:56:00.001-07:002010-07-11T09:56:27.728-07:00Struggling 2day. Wegman's is @ the same time incredible & the devil. 4got how incredible the food is. Got a salad. Cried. Dumbass me. Thx 4 reading. <3 LaurieLauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-87356895183054478242010-07-10T21:58:00.001-07:002010-07-10T21:58:29.208-07:00Just have to share...I'm wearing size 18 jeans! I was so thrilled I bought them without thinking. Woot! 6 mo. followup on Thurs. Can't wait! <br>Laur =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-9054160534117882842010-07-05T07:12:00.000-07:002010-07-05T07:18:19.976-07:00How different life is.....This was an amazing weekend. We went to upstate NY to celebrate my Grandma's 90th birthday. It was a wonderful weekend.... I got to see family I haven't seen in forever! Getting comments from family like, "you're lookin' skinny" and "you look so wonderful" was so great....when usually I was the one sitting in the shade, sometimes avoiding people due to my weight. It's a strange new world.<br /><br />But I have to say, the best part was the energy I had to play with my little cousins....play with my nephew....walk all around my cousin's property....and not worry about being too tired afterwards. And to be fully satisfied with a bite of each kind of food and not gorge myself? Amazing. I truly enjoy food, but don't let it rule me. It's pretty cool!<br /><br />I'm now down 119#, wearing a size 20 regularly - the 22s are too big now...and the 20s are getting baggy...I may have to break out the 19s soon...it's insanity. But the most lovely insanity I've experienced in a long while. I can't wait until my cousin Jenny's wedding this weekend....dance dance dance.....woot!<br /><br />Take good care - hope you had a wonderful 4th of July. Thanks for reading!<br /><3<br />Laurie =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088028787513635437.post-18674357021434241572010-07-02T13:57:00.000-07:002010-07-02T14:02:19.226-07:00Merely "Obese"Hey, all!<br /><br />Internet is back, I'm back in full addict mode, we're moved into the house and I'm feeling and doing very well! But there is one great, pertinent piece of news I am thrilled to share....<br /><br />I am no longer in the "morbidly obese" category according to the BMI charts! I am merely "obese". I'm so thrilled. Never did I think with a BMI of 56 at the start of this journey that I would have one under 40 so soon. It's so amazing. I can't put it into words.<br /><br />On another note - I have started journaling my food again and am realizing that I have not been a very good girl. I am averaging about 50 - 60 g/protein/day...when I'm supposed to be getting 80. My labs are not going to be good unless I get on the stick. And I plan to - I have to get my labs drawn in the next two weeks....gotta get it together! Bring on the shakes and bocoup snacks. The problem is? I have no cravings at all, never feel hungry, and have no inkling of what I want to eat when it's time to eat. I definitely only eat to live now....and it's still a strange sensation. I love it, don't get me wrong, but it's still weird, even after 5 months of it. <br /><br />Tomorrow is Grandma's surprise 90th birthday party in Auburn, NY. I can't wait to see my family - some of which don't even know I've had surgery...so they'll be shocked to see the difference in me...in all facets. So cool. I can't wait to see my Grandma!! =) She's amazing.<br /><br />Thanks for reading, all! Have a wonderful Independence Day weekend....don't eat too much potato salad and don't drink too much! <3<br /><br />Laur =)Lauriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07960067275874215873noreply@blogger.com0