I never like being the negative Nellie....but today is "one of those days". The best laid plans of mice and men....and all that bull$#!+. The second house we put a bid on got denied - so as of April 20th, we will be apartment bound. We knew this might happen, but the reality sucks.
Also today, the harsh reality that we can't even try to have a baby for a year hit me hard as I took my very first birth control pill since 2002. And as happy as I am for my long time friend to announce her foree into grandparenthood, I can't help but be bitter since we haven't even been able to have a baby yet in our life, let alone a grandbaby. I chose this new path so I could be healthy when Jeff and I become parents and so I have the longevity to love them and play with them and be there for them - but the reality stings from time to time..... I smile and press on and try very hard to be positive and focus on my current journey.... I am a healthier person and far happier than I was prior to surgery..... I keep focusing on that..... but today I am not-a-so-strong (imagine thick, fake Italian accent there).
Some great positives of today? I still have the best work team and family a woman could ask for. I have a great job, a supportive husband, a body with ever improving health and decreasing waistline, I have a ton of people whom I love and who love me in return. It is this list of plusses that keep me sane. Keep me focused. Keep me from devouring chocolate and sabotaging myself (and making myself sick, too). I keep positive because I choose to..... faith is far more powerful than chocolate - and more sustaining.
Thanks for putting up with my negatives...... and helping me stay positive.
<3 you all!
Laur =)
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